乳がん患者の語り

I went to the doctors and saw a locum who was there because my doctor was busy.

She looked at my breasts and felt them and said: "Has your left breast always been bigger? "Do you know they're lopsided?"

And everyone says to me when I'm in these situations: "Do you know your breasts are lopsided?" It's something that is just accepted really.

And to be honest I hadn't questioned the size of them because looking back now I can see that the left breast had been getting bigger but I hadn't really noticed it as such. I just thought it was something to do with taking the pill or the time of the month or something like that.

He said that he would be doing the surgery and what happens with the mini-flap operation is that it needs two operations.

So you'd have one - his usual operating times were Tuesday and Thursday but he would need to book me a special slot on the Monday in order to make the anaesthetist happy about putting me under for a second time.

I was in hospital all this time. So it was from the Sunday we checked in and Monday was the first operation. The Wednesday was when I found out about the lymph nodes and the Thursday was the second operation.

And I went in for the surgery and he'd explained it was a longer surgery, so it takes longer to get over. Plus the fact it's like two operations. So I came round from the second operation with two drains in.

Where exactly had they moved muscle from, or tissue from?

It's hard to explain but they'd moved, they'd swung one part of the shoulder muscle round in. So it kind of comes underneath the armpit and goes through.

I remember looking down after the surgery because as part of the surgery they ask you to keep your bra, to bring in an old bra and keep your bra on so that the breast has got support.

And I remember looking down and seeing that I still had a cleavage and I was so happy! Nothing hurt.

My shoulder was stiff and the physiotherapist came round and had exercises for me to do and I did them, and I can move my arm fine now.

It's not a problem at all.

And he explained the different options that they would have.

He said: "Because of where the cancer is we can do a wide local excision or we can do a wide local excision but take more tissue and do what we call a mini-flap operation, which is slightly re-constructive, and push some shoulder muscle round into the area. Or it might be a case of having to remove the breast. Now, all of those three options are open to you."

And I looked at him and I said: "Well what gives me the greatest chance of survival?" And he said: "If there was one option in there that would give you the greatest chance of survival I would tell you, but all three of them have an equal chance."

And I sat there and I thought: "Well this is a bit like Hobson's Choice really. I just want the cancer removed." And I said to him I'd go for the second operation.

Was that with a bit of reconstruction?

Yeah.

And he explained that, you know, there was different types of chemotherapy and that there's a three drug and normal standard, and then there's the four drug which has become the new standard.

But there's also an American drug called Tact, I think, being tested or something like that and what did I want, the options.

Again it was like these are the options.

Yeah a clinical trial and I thought well I'd rather go with the four drug because you know they give the American drug to people where it's secondary breast cancer.